Now that we’ve shown you the top 10 things that won’t happen due to marriage equality becoming law, we’re going to show your a few things that actually might happen.
1. Rep. Paul Shepherd will initiate District 7’s secession from the Union.
His new nation will, however, retain the name “District 7.” Not unlike the Hunger Games.
2. Governor Otter’s scowl and sense of defeat will officially finalize his transition into Nick Nolte.
Real talk: We purposefully photoshopped this picture poorly because we were genuinely worried that people might actually think it was really a photo of Nick Nolte.
3. The “Hitching Post” wedding chapel will realize gay couples would never get married in a room with wood paneling, anyway.
Although, to be fair, we might use it to reenact a few of our favorite Little House on the Prairie scenes.
4. Rep. Heather Scott will stress-eat the entire crate of beef jerky Oberto sent her last month.
It’s cool, girl. We’ve all been there.
5. All of those people threatening to move to Canada are about to be very disappointed.
Feel free to make the big move up north, but know that now you’ll be living in a country that’s home to both marriage equality AND Nickelback.
6. Joe Biden will inevitably suffer some form of cape-related injury.
You do you, Joe.
7. Rep. Lynn Luker’s next bill will claim religious freedom includes “the right to not see happily married couples in public.”
8. Ann Coulter will spend the next 24 hours screaming so loud that only dogs can hear it.
9. Ruth Bader Ginsburg will officially claim her spot as one of history’s greatest divas.
Thanks to RBG, if we like it, now we can literally put a ring on it.
10. We will continue our fight toward true equality with the campaign to Add the Words.
This ruling does not change the fact that lawmakers need to protect all Idahoans by adding the words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the Idaho Human Rights Act. Let’s celebrate this milestone while continuing our work to ensure equal treatment for everyone.